We've all been there... Either being sick, or holding the hair of your friend who is being sick in the Yates toilets whilst crying about how they will never be good enough (for the no doubt fuck boy that is messing them about). Complimenting that girl you've just met on her outfit and fending off about 1,000 creeps who think it's acceptable to dance so close you, might as well be conjoined twins.
Not all girls are like this, ofc... I have taken parts of what I'm like, what I've seen, and what friends are like. I would like to say for any guy reading this, that I promise there is no girl this crazy/makeup obsessed/clothes obsessed/raging alcoholic all at once. These are snippets from many people I know and have seen, and have put them together in one post - don't panic. You will find a (semi) normal girl that is (semi) acceptable to introduce to your parents... Hopefully... one day... in the distant future.
So despite the fact that Galentines Day was a while back, here is a post to celebrate you girls who are the bun to a burger patty, the Ross to the Rachel and the card to a shopping addiction.
"I NEED HELP PICKING AN OUTFIT"
It's no secret that girls take around 3 hours to get ready for a night out and sometimes the preparations actually start the night before. That fake tan, making sure your hair is the right amount of clean before styling it, painting your nails, etc... And choosing an outfit is one of the hardest choices a girl will come up against that night. Sending many different pictures with outfit choices and asking for opinions is a must before the final decision on what to wear.
"I'M FAT"
This doesn't happen to all girls, but many a girl can tell you of a story where one night, they just didn't look right. We all have those days where no matter how hard we try, we just feel like shit. Saying we look fat is just among the many of insults that we throw at ourselves. It is up to the friends to make sure that before heading out, you feel top notch about yourself (or at least a little better than before).
"IS MY MAKEUP STILL ON!?"
Before Urban Decay's make up setting spray, there was hairspray... A REALLY bad for you choice. Spraying hairspray all over your face was the norm (hoping that it'd help your make up stay in place the same way Amy Winehouse kept her beehive hair in place). Still, even trusting hairspray and makeup setting sprays can be risky, so it'll have to go down to trusting friends. Is my lipstick still in place? Is it fading? Are my eyelashes coming off? OMG THEY ARE!? DO YOU HAVE ANY GLUE?!
"MY FEET HURT"
It gets to the point on a night out where enough is enough and the thought of walking on glass is more appetising than the agonising thought of wearing heels. Sometimes they don't hurt all night and others they do... The people who get the brunt of the pain are our girls. We put up with the constant moaning and carry them when they can go on no longer and help keep hold of them when they finally make the best decision of their lives and take their shoes off.
"DANCE WITH ME"
Girls love to dance on a night out. I'm not really one for dancing (I'm not good at it) and I usually stand there bobbing up and down until I'm intoxicated and then that bob turns into me singing dramatically into the distance like a loser. I, however, have many a friend that loves to dance their way through the night. Like the trooper we all are, we just do it for our friends - it actually ends up being a right laugh. Not to mention, the more alcohol that is in your system, the more you actually want to dance and it then becomes you who is told that maybe it is enough dancing for one night.
"COME WITH ME TO THE TOILET"
It is a girls duty to take her friend you the toilet. You never know what can happen from that ten second walk from the dance floor to the toilet - it's a field of danger out there. Not only this, but she needs help taking off her playsuit... It's a two man job. I forgot to mention the holding of the door duty! 9 times out of 10, club toilets are DISGUSTING! Sinks full of sick, toilet roll all over the floor, flooded toilets and toilet doors that don't even lock... It is imperative a friend comes to help.
"OMG I LOVE YOUR DRESS! WHERE DID YOU GET IT?"
It is not a trip to the toilet if you do not make a new BFFL.
"I'LL PAY"
You get those girls who manage to nab free drinks off of anyone and everyone and then you have your best friend, who, when intoxicated, will offer you their house if they could. They lean in with their contactless card and you have the "WELL I'LL GET THE NEXT ONE?" Argument and you both have each others back when it comes to getting a drink. Lost your card? Don't worry... I'll pay.
"I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU"
Sometimes when a girl has had one too many, a number of emotions will appear. You could witness your friend channel every emotion possible in the space of an hour and you will be there for her through each of those emotions. When they are feeling happy and jumping around the dance floor, you'll be there beside her. When she's angry and ready to hit the nearest guy for trying to touch her bum, you'll be there to tell the scumbag to fuck off. When she's tripped over and everyone has noticed, you pick her up and laugh at her. When she's crying about her latest heart break, you'll be there to hold her hand and rip the shit out of the person who made her feel that way, "trust me, they're not worth it".
"COME WITH ME OUTSIDE"
WHY, GOD? WHY!? It's winter and it's snowing outside. I'm wearing my peep toes and my clothes are verging on minimal to none! But very well... I'll come with you.
"HE'S SO FIT"
It's a thing these days where most of the time people are meeting their future partners in clubs. We, as your friends, can not get in the way of that. If there's just two? I'll be your wingman! If there's a group? Go on young one... Fly the nest.
"YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND"
There's always that one person that has that realisation that life will never be the same without you. They remember everything from the moment you met to this present day and they can't help but express the love they have for you. But it's ok because we love you too.
"I'M HUNGRY"
It's the end of the night and so it's time to eat. A night out is not complete without 1,000,000 chicken nuggets from Mc Donalds. Arm in arm, shoes in hand and bag under armpit, you stumble to Mc Donalds and devour the menu (putting any man to shame) and discuss the next adventure.
"WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT?"
(All GIFs found on GIPHY.com)
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